I was working with a team of directors once, and I was having a difficult time getting everyone to agree on an important next step. Time was slipping away, and we were in danger of falling behind. Despite my efforts, I couldn’t get everyone on the same page. To make matters worse, side conversations were happening that created confusion and division. I was frustrated and felt completely stuck. Perhaps you’ve been in a similar situation doing a group project or planning for an event. It’s a frustrating and helpless feeling.

 

I got to the point of throwing my hands up and asking God what I needed to do differently to earn the group’s trust. His response surprised me: “I didn’t ask you to trust people—I told you to love them.”

 

The Bible is filled with commands for us to love one another—to go the extra mile, to turn the other cheek, to give away the shirt off our back. But it never commands us to place our trust in people. In fact, Scripture warns us about it. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” This powerful verse reminds us that to trust others without reservation is unwise and will lead to disappointment and hurt.

 

When the health of a relationship is built solely on trust expressed in something like, “I am counting on you to keep your word and do what’s right,” disappointment and hurt are often inevitable. Trust is fragile. That’s why our relationships need to be built on self-sacrificial love expressed in something like, “you and I are made in the image of God and worthy of love and honor,” we then see our need to trust God and rely on Him rather than others. This kind of love sees beyond imperfections and opens us to grace. Love, not trust, becomes the anchor that holds everything together.

 

If you’re dealing with brokenness in a relationship because of a violation of trust, ask God to help you love with the kind of love He’s shown us. You may just find that He is the one who proves trustworthy in the end.